Multiple Me’s

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One of the concepts mentioned during the 21-Day Meditation Challenge I’m on is the idea of “multiple me’s”.

I was asked to consider the idea that mankind is of the same consciousness and that people around me are multiple versions of, me. Theoretically, having this thought in mind is supposed to add depth to my everyday interactions with people.

I gave it a shot.

The cashier ringing up my cereal at Ralph’s? Me. The women I asked to dance last night? All me. The kids walking home from school, talking to each other. Just me talking to me.

I have to admit. It brought a smile to my face, standing there after Tango class as I approached myself to speak to me and then other versions of me joined the conversation and I, we, me stood there smiling and laughing with myself. Looking into my own eyes. It makes sense. Underneath my outer appearance the multiple versions of me experience the same emotions, long for the same attention, have a need to be appreciated and respected, desire to live lives of meaning. My multiple me’s want to connect with me and each other in profound ways. We’re just born in different environments. Had different experiences.

Not a bad way to look at things. Much better than the negative, often fictional crap I create in my mind.

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I’m a daydreamer

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One of the benefits of this 21-day Meditation Challenge has been the focus on, me. Something surprising came up today. I’d completely forgotten about this: As a child I was a severe daydreamer.

My other favorite childhood activities seemed to support my mental hobby, like reading and watching days of television. It’s hard to accurately look back into my young mind from this aged vantage point but I think I felt guilty about daydreaming. I think it made me feel different from others and we all know that you can’t “fit in” if your “different” (so says the god of middle school).

I googled “daydreaming” and learned about Maladaptive Daydreaming and found links to studies suggesting that there are positive aspects of childhood daydreaming. I’d like to be more aware of the positive/negative effects that my childhood daydreaming has had on me. I’m leaning toward embracing that aspect of me though. The tendency to daydream part.

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Oprah & Deepak: Okay, Better Than Expected

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Day 12 of 21-Day Meditation Challenge

Miraculous Dynamism (journal excerpt)

Prompt:

Take a moment to review the many environments you were a part of over the course of the last week. How did you show up? What energy did you project at home, work, school, in the grocery store, or while driving? Were you offering yourself in a way that engaged the people around you or pushed them away, isolating yourself? Think carefully and write a candid and detailed review, a personal “how I showed up” inventory.

My Response:

Environments:

Tango Studio
Shoreline Elementary
Mornings

Very interesting prompt. My question off the top is “do I necessarily have to invite people to me?” And then I reflect on elements of the human condition: isolation, loneliness, and the drive/instinct to thrive/survive. If one of our strongest instincts is to thrive/survive then it makes sense that we would want to attach ourselves to other human beings because in groups or in packs we increase the probability of our survival. But that, ha!, is in a perfect world. In the current dysfunctional state of society we are likely to invite “crazy-ass” people into our lives…right? Not according to Law of Attraction Theorists. So the big question is: Is this worth experimenting with? Hell yes.

So, because of my own limited view of self, it’s likely that I enter in most environments from an “isolationist” protective base. I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want others to see know how vulnerable I really am. So I protect myself.

Dear Oprah and Deepak: I’m trying.

Day 8 of the 21 – Day Meditation Challenge
Excerpt from Reflection Journal Entry – Miraculous Spirit
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Child Meditating

The Prompt:

Take a moment to place your hands on your heart. Take a deep break in and visualize your heart opening wide. As you exhale allow yourself to connect with peace. Feel the warmth from your heart on your hands. The song of your heart has many important messages for you. Gently open to its song in this moment; what message does it have for you right now?

My Response:

There’s nothing there.

I’m having a reaction to this exercise. My response to it: this is bullshit.

Its bullshit for me. I can only speak for myself. Its not my truth nor how I perceive my truth. What does that mean? That other sentence? It means that the prompt above is not written in my language. It uses too many terms that have ‘hookey’ underling meanings. For example, “visualize your heart opening wide”. Its a philosophical exercise I’m sure yet it is the literal that I seek. I seek objective language to label my experience. What does “heart” mean?

In the literal sense its an organ.

Perhaps the purpose of this whole thing is to get me to perceptive my experience in a visual, metaphorical way but that goes outside of the scientific method like manner in which I want to approach my experience. I want to process my experience using the language of mindful awareness.

So how would I translate the prompt to get to the same point?

Maybe its just a tool. Its visualization. By using the tool above there is an implied recognition that the brain is a muscle and that one way to influence the brain, this muscle is to use the tool of visualization.

Yes. I think that’s it.

So here’s the thing I guess. The reason that I had my initial “this is bullshit” reaction to the prompt is because I prefer that the intent of the prompt be explained to me or at the very least, there should be a link embedded in it somewhere that gives the scientific basis for visualization.

In short, Id feel better about the approach if I were some what confident that it’s based on some form of systematic observation.